You might be reluctantly reading this right now because you just had an emotional breakdown, but please continue reading anyway.
I may not know what you are exactly feeling. Of how painful is that rejection, how long you’ve been pushing yourself to the extent you don’t know ‘you’ anymore. I may not be there to console you, but please know I am just like you, we all are like you, and so, I stand by you. I am so sorry to hear that you can’t move on from that guy or that girl who said they love you but ended those promises vanished on the air. That exam you’ve been studying for the whole week, with all those coffee that most likely to spill out because of your restless effort in understanding the topic, yet boiled down to a disappointment of a failing score. That pressure that keeps you tangled between your parents’ expectations about you having a job or passing that board exam, but lingered to failure.
Those endless insecurities of what you want to be or what you don’t want to be. The sleepless nights of thinking you just want to disappear in this realm and make people forget your existence. All of these are few of the many indicators of your ‘brokenness’, and such brokenness stole a piece, or to some, stolen their whole identity and couldn’t find the way back to where they were before.
However, I want you to know that such broken pieces of failures and setbacks are opportunities that hold something beautiful. There was a tradition in Japan (Kintsugi) whenever there’s a broken jar or vases, they get to fill in the cracks with gold. Even it’s broken, the outcome of the broken vases ended up a wonderful art of gold cracks and though it’s looking abstract, it is beautifully put.
It’s beautifully broken.
So whenever you feel ‘broken’ at your own definition of brokenness, I hope that you’ll be reminded of that story.
I have with me a broken highlighter and was so annoyed at first because I thought it couldn’t be used. But when I try using it as highlight again, the crack between the ‘writing point’ (e.g ballpoint, that part ), wrote a delicate partition of vibrant color and white. The crack part was replaced with a classy division of the color white as the broken space gave way to the color that my highlighter produced.
Such brokenness came maybe for us to remain humble, and so that we will be dependent on God. That even if in pains and pleasures, God can be glorified. I hope you will endure it, and not just endure it, but to endure it joyfully. You are resilient. You’ve been there lots of times, is this the time to give up? No. Never. If you can’t do it anymore, if your human capability fails to cope up already, then, it is but just a perfect occasion to give the broken pieces to the Master of all creation. Your Potter. Your Creator, to the One who holds your breathe, and to the One who could turn such into pieces of golden glass.
Be healed.
Come back. I am waiting on the other side.
But I am not judging you with that. To be honest, I am standing by you and keeping you in my prayers.
I love that you’re broken, broken like me because it only means we need fixing. A fixing that goes beyond what our human comprehension could fathom.
May you find that sense of healing now in Christ’s name.
Fight, little soul, fight, and please survive.
Forever and always,
Kryzylle Nicole