coffee reads

Brokenness is a gift from God

Life’s struggles will always come with crashing and breaking but always with a blessing.”

The moment I am writing this, God knows I am not okay. I remember when I am about to turn 21 this year, the very last day that I’ve spent my life in my 20th, I said to myself that I will never be the same person again as I enter the new chapter of my life. Indeed, God answers prayer. Now that I am 21, I struggled a lot with my emotions and I can’t handle it. I struggle with communicating with people knowing that I am a “people person”. I don’t know, but I guess God is working out the answers to my prayers. God is challenging me to step out from my very “hormonal-driven way of life” and He is taking me to a “childlike faith” way of approaching circumstances.

I know I made so many decisions out of my emotions and it turned out to be so harsh for me. Also, I cannot blame to other people everything that’s happening in my life right now although there are some who made some mistakes to me and I felt hurt and wounded but It’s  not their fault. I know they are God’s love also. They were God’s instrument to mold me.

Now, I am seeing myself as a broken doll ruined by my emotions, game well-played.
All these years I thought I was always winning. I’ve encountered a lot of struggles but I know deep within that I put little faith to God and more on my own decisions and actions, see what happened now? God is realigning my life to His plans. He allow things, people and ministry to break me in order to protect me from a more devastating works of my own emotions.

I still can’t fully grasp God’s message in my life right now because I am still in the process but I am thankful for the few people who cheered me up and prayed for me.

I am happy to say that I am broken and helpless knowing that God is the only one who can help me. Last night, I knelt down and pray to God as I surrender everything to Him without saying a word and all are tears and groaning. I know God will rescue me. He will heal me and lead me to the destiny that’s meant for me. That’s Faith! Because of brokenness, I am able to figure out that God is good and no matter what we feel, He is real.

To everyone out there who’s experiencing brokenness right now for whatever reasons, cheer up because God never changes. He is the same God of your good days and the same God of your bad days. Just come to Him with a surrendered heart.

Love,

Dianne Kaye

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