I can clearly remember when I was in daycare that I was a weeping child.

My mom’s office building was near our kindergarten school, and by simply looking through her window, she could see me below. She used to walk me through the school door because I won’t let her go. She often scolds me, but still, I cannot stop crying.

She was trying to calm me by saying she would just show up at the window when recess was time for me to catch a glimpse of her. That was a good delay of gratification for me. I have had my share of different levels of separation anxiety for my mom, so even if our buildings were more likely a 2-minute walk from each other, I could not contain my tears.

My favorite part of those days?

When it was time to go home because if my mom walked me to the doorsteps of our little daycare school, I was all alone going back to her, in her office, feeling proud that I finished a day in the school….probably forgetting that I had a little drama earlier that day. Probably I was smiling.

______

Today, as I stepped back at the exact parameters of that place, those old memories lingered in me. I have been a scared kid. But as I venture a couple of decades ago today, some version of my crying moments when my mom walks me through the door of a building and leaves me after a while for her work, has changed.

Today, my mom and dad drove me on the parameters of that exact location. I told them they don’t have to visit me there often, not because I could catch a glimpse of my mom’s face by the transparent window, but because I knew I could now contain my tears this time. My mom was still in the same building, and I knew she was there even though I could not see her.

I saw my kindergarten teacher; it was more than nostalgia.

She smiled, and I greeted her. It was a warp of time.

But just like before, my mom walked me through a door again…not with my kinder garden classmates as the audience, but some familiar grown-up people whom I used to see when I was a kid.

I realized time was after me, or maybe I was going ahead, but I knew that moment, as my eyes won’t fall into tears, I knew, after all, this is me growing up.

This is me being sustained by Him.

After all, this is the first day of work.

P.S
My parents fetched me still after the long tiring day. :>

Thank YOU, GOD for the strength.