coffee reads

yet, silence

Sitting on a chair back in 2019 at the C302 building of our university, I can still feel the breezy touch of that cold room. I was first year back then—a psych major. A professor by the nickname of sir Gab told us about the hot issue at that time about these celebrities whose relationships were the talk of the social media.

What I can’t forget was when sir Gab told us to make a reflection paper out of it, which later that week made us realize we could have researched for a more scientific and logical approach to understanding the issue, we would’ve never gotten that 10/30 score. What he meant was to not jump directly to the bubbling conclusion. Find logical reasons why someone acted that way, why the A leads to B. Find the roots. Or at least, if a theory resonates with the situation, use that idea so that one can have a founded basis worthy of objective argument.

“As a psych major, it is important to have self-regulation.”

That’s what sir Gab said. I grew all these years in observance of such advice, especially in the situations that demand me to feel rage and voice out something, especially on social media. It is valid to be vocal about things we are opinionated about. However, it is still important to step back and reconsider if what we are going to act or say can benefit ourselves and others. Or are we saying this out of pure kindness or out of our ego? Are we saying this to splash out negative attributes to someone in hopes we can gain public sympathy? Are we saying this in light of reasonable judgment? Are we considering the cons? Can someone be hurt if I say this?

Regulating oneself can be difficult, especially when coming from a place of pain. Reality can be a blurry reality just because we tend to look at one side of the coin. We can always have our own biases. Of course. That’s why it is crucial that if you are in the position to say something, being silent as a first choice is imperative because it will allow you to think logically, not erratically. After giving it some thought, that’s the best time you can say something laced with wholesome words regarding whatever issues are being presented on the table.

Our professor told us to be self-regulatory at all times. When we see a post on social media that can be an avenue for an issue to be talked about, may the instant decision to subtly talk about someone even in a joking manner be thought twice. We don’t know who’s reading. Worse, all bad attributes can be projected to a party whose side is never asked about.

The catch? Do we have all the basis of our talk? Our accusations? If yes, one can settle it confidentially so that no one will nestle on the screen and enjoy a bowl of popcorn trying to find out who’s at fault for an issue. But if all of the words being blurt out of emotions are just rooted in the idea of being not able to accept some facts, and distorting it to something so that it’ll be in favor of someone’s side, then may you also have the courage to have wisdom and decipher things in pursuit of everybody’s wellness.

I woke up today feeling a little bit low. Maybe I heard a narrative about someone lowkey accusing someone of things she hasn’t done. The sad thing, the things she hasn’t done were attributed to her. Of course. I don’t know how she will handle it. She could feel furious. She could also giver her narrative, right? If given a chance. She might feel the itch to use subtle gossip and attack someone’s image too. But if she does that, she’ll stoop down on that level, and she’ll never do that.

An option to do? Cry. She might be crying. A good one to release pain.

The best one? Silence.

She stayed silent.

I wish I could tell her to fight back and defend herself because it is frustrating to see her doing nothing yet exhausting her mind, but some battles are not worth fighting for, really.

Yet, silence.

I hope if she could not defend herself, GOD will.

until then, she’ll stay silent.

This made me realize something. When we are being presented with an issue, can we analyze if the point leads to another point that can form the circle of the conclusion? The reasonable and proper judgment? or is it just lesser than a dot that exhausts itself to create a line? True, when one comes from a place of pain, one can distort the truth under the façade of overwhelming emotions.

…and to you who are reading this,

may you have, even just a little self-regulatory too, because one day you will come to realize that the rocks you throw at some people out of your pain and temporary anger will eventually come back to you— significantly if these rocks don’t weigh strongly for you to throw at them at the very first place.

We’re not all psych majors, but I think it is a fundamental human right to show respect and be respected.

With respect,

nicole.

hebrews 11:16

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