sincerely, kryz

17th of March 2023

17th of March 2023

~

Dear Reader,

I have some thoughts about Christian girls trying to display they are “single” and lowkey waiting for someone to notice them because they keep on saying they’re saying single since birth and that they need someone to like them. I am utterly guilty of this because that was my mindset since I have been attending these seminars for single people. Still, as I grew up, I realized those were useless in the long run because they never taught us how to be a woman of GOD both inside and outside. Yes, they taught us about the Biblical point of view of waiting, but that’s all there is. About Jacob and Rachel and or Boaz and Ruth. Okay, good. But we are not like them. They’re highly different than us, and I have noticed how single people try to romanticize these Biblical romantic stories as if trying to fit into their fantasy.

Okay. Please don’t hate me, but my point here is this…. we’ve been taught about this process of waiting and all of that, but they never teach us about character building; I mean, HOW IT MEANT to be actively waiting and at the same time how to fix the physical part. I observed a lot who demonized the aspect of wearing makeup or having this outfit because they are trying to uphold we should dress cover to cover with no skin on. They’re trying to make a cookie cutter out of us. There is an entirely wrong view of modesty. They taught us to dress with a touch of modesty but never taught us to shut up our mouths and be gentle. I am sad by how modesty has been extra defiled these days. Guys, it does not mean that you are wearing like a puritan woman; you shall call yourself a woman of GOD already if you are silently trying to ruin someone’s integrity in your selfish pursuit of gaining attention. It does not mean that you are so vocal with waiting for someone and that you have never had any romantic relationship before that you call yourself PURE and that others who already had someone now can be seen as lesser than you.

I hate to say this, but I am pissed off by what this generation calls to be a woman of GOD, which only focuses on this stupid waiting and dating and marriage, and not focus on learning theology, doing skillful homemaking skills, and treating everyone in their community with kindness and gentleness until such time someone will notice them and invite them for a date and then marriage it is. I am not against courting-dating-marriage stuff, and it is genuinely WONDERFUL. A lot of times, I have imagined it. How I shall run the house with a homely living room and baked cookies, and lavender scent in the kitchen or rosemary plants outside…. what I am trying to say here is that, all along, I guess we are missing the vital part of this waiting process.

No, please. We don’t need your long speeches about purity and testimonies; we require genuine wisdom on how to bake a cake, create a healthy meal, sew, and make a good atmosphere inside the home. We don’t need your long encouragement about waiting for someone to bump right in front of us while we stay in the corner wearing very dull outfits just because THEY try to impose this wrong thing about modesty. Guys, modesty is, on top of all, the genuine kindness of the heart, and it shall eventually just flow outside of us, especially the way we dress. When there is peace inside us and a beautiful character, I am pretty sure our way of clothing outside of us can be profound.


I asked a lot of men these days and asked them about what makes them attracted to a woman; they never said that they are attracted because she is kind and generous (it is essential too!), what is familiar from their responses is that they notice woman first by how a woman is neat, dresses well, and is physically beautiful. Please don’t get this wrong; beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and we all are beautiful in our ways; what these men are trying to say is that attraction comes first when they see us presenting our outside aspect as neat and well-groomed. No, I don’t mean you’ll exaggerate this; what I mean is do try to be physically well groomed. Use outfits that fit your body, comb your hair, wear concealer, or curl your lashes. Wear perfume…

On top of all… be kind. Why is this my last say? Because of all those things said above, it will only be helpful with genuine kindness. They go hand in hand. May we know how to balance things up? We don’t have to demonize the idea of beautifying ourselves just because the rest of the world is doing it, and that does not mean that you are a Christian that you will be extra conservative already to the point judging everyone else who just wear something comfortable during a super hot day.

I remember having seen a post from a Christian page one day; it has a picture of a slim girl doing a typical mirror selfie. Her dress is not vulgar, only that she is skinny; maybe the dress shapes her body but not that tight; she is just thin. Then the caption says, “Girls, we don’t have to be like this to be liked by someone.” I’m not too fond of that. Just because she is skinny and doing a mirror selfie implies that that girl is trying to get attention about her body. So, you are trying to say all skinny girls doing the same thing? I don’t know, but at that time, I hated that I agreed with their caption; for the rest of the weeks, I have been extra concerned about my dresses because I am skinny too! Well, that was a waste of time.

Maybe some Christian girls just over-spiritualized the idea of modesty already, and they overlooked the natural modesty that comes from the flow of the heart, not just by wearing long sleeves tops and long skirts. Still, honestly…. it is more on directing yourself with beautiful character.

Okay. This is spontaneous writing, and I need to take this shorter. My point is… we got it wrong about the waiting thing. We will wait forever for someone to like us if we don’t try to be better BOTH inside and out. I meant this, the LITERAL OUT. Again, don’t get this wrong; you don’t need to be extravagant; you just need to be neatly simple and authentic and build manners that shall be good in the eyes of men and, on top of all, to GOD.

I hope you get my point. Do not overly romanticize your “single and waiting” era, do something WORTH it about it.

Goodnight. You can message me about your thoughts with this. I would like to discuss it with you.

Grace be upon you.

Sincerely,
Kryz.

P.S

Objectively, I have seen many people who have become recipients of those seminars before who are slanderers, gossipers, and subtle attention seekers NOW. Please don’t call yourself a woman of GOD if that’s the case. You are not Ruth nor Rachel.

…BUT we can always be better, okay?

I really shall end here.

hebrews 11:16

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